(Note this is a dianetics term that is universal in scope and used here as a framework for my own interpretation.
Of these three important cornerstones of relationship, “Communication” is the driver. In a sense “Affinity” is an amoral feeling and “Reality” is a confirmation where the sense of combined reality is perceived as similar or compatible.
An relationship starts from an initial attraction with assumed or wishful affinity and reality. In this space the mind will see what it wants and not see what it doesn’t distorting the “ARC” of relationship.
The steps are:
1. Assumed affinity because it feels good.
2. Assumed reality because you focus on what you want and reduce that which you do not want.
3. Assumed Communication because there are no underlying issues.
Continued communication drives and deepens and enhances both senses of combined reality and affinity. It is communication that is behind the whole and is also the very part that can make the whole thing fall apart.
When communication reaches a block, not working through it creates a reality distortion or break, where through misunderstanding and animosity affinity will be driven down, creating reality drift and then with time-space/history added, the relationship between affinity, reality and communication breaks and grows until it becomes the new, long term basis of the relationship.
So ongoing willingness to communicate completely to a win-win understanding & agreement (resolved) on both sides and with understood behavior and accepted responsibility going forward and without judgment and grudge holding. Not holding the past against each other is paramount. Maintaining a healthy arc, is more important, the same idea as the question, “Is it’s worth losing a friend for?”
I believe the conversation should continue until you both can smile and feel good, driving up affinity and reality, so that energy can be taken and built on, strengthening the bond. Showing each other, compassion, understanding and confirming affinity and strengthening reality.