This is not a typical ThoughtMotivator post. It is a real look at life and how it can get you down and reveals the question in life we have when we need something more to go on and cannot find it. This ThoughtMotivater blog in itself comes from such a place.
Being a middle class person trying to live a solid middle class life (And…. here’s the rub) based on what society has shown “me” what “Middle Class” means. Now, I do not feel I am alone in this. I think it is more a cultural time space meme for my time of age that “all humans with a proper amount of effort, outlook and forethought should be able to live a reasonably comfortable and creative life.”
So here I am in a place that feels very uncomfortable to me. Yes, I believe and accept I am highly responsible for my situation but what I cannot understand is why is the effort, outlook and forethought that has always work for me now is just setting me up in a big life encompassing double bind… damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I have never felt this way before. Everyday was a new opportunity mistakes were just setbacks. I was always able to overcome yesterday.
Today in 2018, I am making about the same money I was making in 2000 at my job. Only today it is taking me two jobs to achieve that. In the same space I got married and had three kids and bought a bigger California house. During the time my income also grew and things looked OK. Then in 2013 I got laid off, mostly due to technological advancements. Three years of debt accruing, 401K withdrawing and not being able to land a job to replace the one and the salary I had in my career choice, I have settled into two jobs to keep me and my family covered with insurance and make about what I was making in 2000, stepping back to a wage of 18 years ago amidst a shrinking middle class and a growing family of increasing financial needs, not to mention I am a white male. The cards seem stacked against me between my age gender and race, even though the rules say those don’t count. I am here to tell you I believe they do. This is a very harsh reality. I don’t think I am alone.
All my efforts, outlook and forethought are not working anymore. I am barely hanging on and I am wondering what exactly can I do to get out of this mess. I don’t even really know if it is possible at my age and given my circumstances. Damned if I try, Damned if I don’t. It makes me want to give up. Why keep trying? What is the point anymore?