I Don’t Care

Care about your own good efforts. Care less about any lack of recognition.

As my dear mother often reminded me, don’t fall into the trap of expecting a gift from the same place a gift is given, in time, space or way.

Give and Let It Go

Do good for yourself. Be inquisitive of others, engage them — don’t expect of them. Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not for what you expect to get from doing it. Go about your way, be the most authentic you that you can be.

Enjoy Yourself!

Don’t count on others to make you feel you are worthy. Treat yourself as worthy. You are worthy! Be your own best friend!

Don’t Hurt Others

Live the Golden Rule. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Just don’t waste time trying to find your fulfillment in others. Take appreciation when you get it just realize your own support of self is what matters.

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A Weakness or a Learning?

When we sum up someone by their weaknesses, we are less happy, more limiting. We are not letting the other person grow, we are not accepting that they can grow and learn. And in turn we hold ourselves back by limiting our growth with them. Out projections on them cause a double bind and now holds two lives back, not to mention all the other lives these two touch and affect.

Labeling another infers that you are making a blanket statement about them. Defining them. Your statement is the projection.

Think about it. For example if you are told you are lazy, and the person making the statement that’s you how they treat lazy people, they will be less open to you seeing how you are becoming more proactive.

The motivating thought here is it is much better for everyone to work on a platform built on the “power of why”. Be willing to ask, “Why?” when you feel yourself making a blanket statement. Ask it of yourself. Ask the other person if they see themselves the same way you do. Use the notion of your own projection to have a conversation to help both of you heal and grow.

Life is a string of learning opportunities from birth to death. Embrace it. Stop limiting yourself by limiting others.

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Self-Respect

Self-Respect is healthy boundaries, it is calm stability, it is self-empowerment.

We are all powerful creative individuals. We all have the same human right to create our view of our world, to be in it successfully. It is not to go blindly. We must learn from others and our mistakes, we just need to be able to discern bad messages and to let them go rather than to make them our blueprint to follow and believe it.

When we let others take advantage of us, it is an act of self-disrespect. A person with little self respect sees situations as double-binds, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The person with healthy boundaries doesn’t put the other off, but maintains a healthy space because they are not buying into the blueprint that says they should accommodate another just because they are being asked to.

We all need to compromise and learn while holding respect as a top value. Because everyone should have healthy self-respect and should support that in others. So when you meet a person with low self value, it is our human virtue, that knows we need to help that person, not take advantage of them.

Peace to all. Together We Are One.

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Expectation or Preference

There is a lot of discussion surrounding the notion of having no expectations. In theory having no expectations is a way to be more objective with yourself and in dealing with others. It means taking action because you want to and not expecting others to do the same or even recognizing your effort, because they too are doing what they want.

So magically by everyone doing want they want everyone will be objectively happy.

There is a problem here called dissatisfaction or even disappointment.

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No matter how objective you are, when another person carries a bigger load because they “want to” resentment can set in leading to martyrdom where no one is happy. So no expectations only works when everyone ‘s efforts are balanced and working toward a common goal.

The real problem with expectations is not disappointment as much as it creates the realization of imbalance. You see, an expectation is an ego based projection: “I do, ergo, so should you.” In our magic balanced world, everyone would do because it is the right thing to do at the right time done in the right way.

Having a preference and understanding your own responsibility to maintain your preference without holding others responsible for it is a very important fulcrum. Expectations are faulty “I want you to be like me, want the same things as me.” thoughts.

So have your preferences, and make your goals known, vivid and interesting so that others contribute in a way that is true to them. Find success without imposing on others. See your success as a product you have to sell, to get others to buy in. Your job, because you want it, is to succeed, so sell it to those around you and work with those who buy in.

The Good Life

The “good life” begins with making healthy choices. First you are dependent on your parents, teachers and caring adults around you to protect and guide you. But ultimately your choices define who you are and what you become. Making healthy choices ensures you are making the best effort you can to focus on and live the life you want. Healthy choices help you to be stronger and more resilient in the face of difficulty, where you can understand a difficulty is a temporary challenge and realize the good life as your basis.

While it is an important distinction that you “don’t ” choose the family you are born into, at least on any physical mental realm, you do, through choices, affect how that family works. And you do ultimately choose your own family. Through healthy choices you are the best you that can be.

It is never too late. Start today, what healthy choice will you make? Reply here with your own pledge. Help others by sharing your ideas and Thank You.

Life is live

This is not a typical ThoughtMotivator post. It is a real look at life and how it can get you down and reveals the question in life we have when we need something more to go on and cannot find it. This ThoughtMotivater blog in itself comes from such a place.

Being a middle class person trying to live a solid middle class life (And…. here’s the rub) based on what society has shown “me” what “Middle Class” means. Now, I do not feel I am alone in this. I think it is more a cultural time space meme for my time of age that “all humans with a proper amount of effort, outlook and forethought should be able to live a reasonably comfortable and creative life.”

So here I am in a place that feels very uncomfortable to me. Yes, I believe and accept I am highly responsible for my situation but what I cannot understand is why is the effort, outlook and forethought that has always work for me now is just setting me up in a big life encompassing double bind… damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I have never felt this way before. Everyday was a new opportunity mistakes were just setbacks. I was always able to overcome yesterday.

Today in 2018, I am making about the same money I was making in 2000 at my job. Only today it is taking me two jobs to achieve that. In the same space I got married and had three kids and bought a bigger California house. During the time my income also grew and things looked OK. Then in 2013 I got laid off, mostly due to technological advancements. Three years of debt accruing, 401K withdrawing and not being able to land a job to replace the one and the salary I had in my career choice, I have settled into two jobs to keep me and my family covered with insurance and make about what I was making in 2000, stepping back to a wage of 18 years ago amidst a shrinking middle class and a growing family of increasing financial needs, not to mention I am a white male. The cards seem stacked against me between my age gender and race, even though the rules say those don’t count. I am here to tell you I believe they do. This is a very harsh reality. I don’t think I am alone.

All my efforts, outlook and forethought are not working anymore. I am barely hanging on and I am wondering what exactly can I do to get out of this mess. I don’t even really know if it is possible at my age and given my circumstances. Damned if I try, Damned if I don’t. It makes me want to give up. Why keep trying? What is the point anymore?

State of Being

Everything you are experiencing right now is the result of all your past interactions to right now. You got yourself here. No one else is responsible, even if they contributed to your making and decisions, the choice has always been yours. Your birth choice, of course, from our perspective anyway, is not possible to confirm in terms of your choice but every way you have interacted with the physical world from that point, unconsciously and consciously has brought you here.

Why is this important?

We love to play the victim and love to blame others for our less than perfect state. If it is not our fault, we feel better about ourselves, or so our ego says. So what it the best course of action to change your state of Being? Simply take responsibility for your own state. If you find your self blaming, stop and blame yourself, even if you are sure it is not your fault. Blame yourself and ask yourself what are you going to do about it to absorb, correct and move forward in a healthy, positive manner, making the world a more peaceful place.

A mistake is not a mistake until it is corrected. Until then, it is intention.

Think clearly about your intentions, if the are including holding others at fault, something is wrong. Hold yourself responsible to make corrections that make your life better. This does not mean to walk away from problems or people, but simply to start behaving in a responsible, constructive way for you and those around you. Breaking things down through blame and playing the victim brings everyone down.

Remember to get quiet and listen, and when you do I am sure you will hear the same thing I do, “All is Love”. That is all the universe says in each moment. Act from live at you are one with the universe in creation in this present moment.

Love and light to you all.

Chandler 5/9/2018

A Change of Course

A change, of course. Change can be a good thing and the further in hindsight it is, the clearer, if not better it seems to be.

My change right now is the decision that I am no longer going to try and reach people through this broadcast method. So this will be the last post you will see if you rely on social media to read it. If you are interested in my thought motivator posts, you will have to subscribe to thoughtmotivater directly at:

https://thoughtmotivator.wordpress.com

Furthermore, if you have read this far, take note that I intend to spend far less time on social media if any at all. This decision is not based on recent data breaches, it is based on purely how I perceive social media in response to my contributions. I refuse to simply add to the noise. So if I am not noise to you, please subscribe and contact me through DM (direct message) by the following methods: WhatsApp, Facebook messenger, iMessage, email or call me. If you need more information regarding my contact information and your preferred method, please reach out to me. I will watch out for you too. Thank you.

Nothing lasts forever, but this is my decision to help me stay on track for the foreseeable future. Taking my own advise.

Peace, Chandler.